Teacher Arrested At JFK For Carrying Ruler, Protractor, Calculator
At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, God would have give us more fingers and toes."
La versión más antigua que he encontrado de este meme, enviado por Alejandro Sierra, es del año 2004, meses después de la invasión de Irak y del engaño acerca de las armas de destrucción masiva. Aunque durante este tiempo las sucesivas versiones han cambiando de protagonistas, la ironía sigue funcionando.
He dejado el texto sin traducir porque se entiende muy bien y porque en castellano se perdería el juego entre weapons of math instruction y la archifamosa expresión weapons of mass destruction.